Recovering from past hurts is not easy. It takes time to heal — sometimes a few days, deeper wounds weeks or months and for some, years. I believe living with a hurt attitude is not healthy for anyone. It is emotionally tiring and makes it difficult to enjoy all life has to offer.
So the question is: How do you overcome hurt and afterward, learn to love and trust again?
The process will take time. Anything worth the while requires time. But in the end, I assure you as the pain eases and your heart becomes more receptive, the hurt will fade.
1. Recognize the Pain’s Source:
There are many reasons we carry around hurt. Sometimes we are hurt by family members, relationships, friends, and occasionally, we inflict pain on ourselves. Whatever the reason, we must first identify the cause. This allows us to acknowledge our hurt’s source and realize that those trying to help, the lady walking down the street, and even our pets are not the reasons we are hurt. This enables us to not become bitter or upset with people who have done nothing towards us. It prevents stable relationships from turning sour and allows the good bonds we still have with people to remain; after all, they may be our source of encouragement during hard times.
2. Love Yourself:
After recognizing the source, the second part is learning to still care about yourself. Usually, people feel a sense of rejection and that they are an outcast from the world when they are hurt. These feelings aren’t true though. Acknowledge that your life is still worth living, you are an amazing person, and God will always love you. Remember the good things about your life in times you begin feeling pity for yourself. If you aren’t sure what good qualities you have, this is the perfect opportunity to discover them all!
3. Know That Hurt Is NOT Final:
So perhaps your mate broke up with you, but it is not the end of your life. You will find someone else better. If you are thinking no one else will want you, you are wrong. If they were willing to be with you, someone else will. Or maybe it is not a break up. Maybe it’s the lost of a friend or family member who has passed. Remember that they loved you and just as they have lived their lives, they want you to live yours too.
The end of anything is not final. It is the start of something new. The end of a relationship is a new beginning to meet and enjoy the company of others. The death of a family member is a chance for another life to begin. The “rejection” of a job or anything else is an opportunity for a greater acceptance. Hurt is not final. It is not a state that you are locked into. While hurt is a part of life, it does not have to last forever if you do not allow it to.
4. Encourage Yourself:
We have to learn to be our biggest advocate. We have to encourage ourselves, love ourselves, have a positive mindset, and remain optimistic. I always told myself that despite what criticisms I may receive, I will always love and support myself.
It is essential for us to learn how to uplift ourselves and find encouragement in God, our Father. We won’t always have friends and family to whom we can ask for support. During these moments we need to be able to turn to God and learn how to receive the strength His so willingly provides.