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Weekly Encouragement

When Love Goes TOO Far

Sometimes I feel like everyone is taking away pieces from me, leaving nothing else but bones.

Do you ever feel that way? You’re being spread too thin. You’re so busy taking care of everyone else, helping others, comforting the hurt and loving people that you’ve neglected yourself? Rough isn’t it? I know.

I like to think of this as the “excessive love syndrome”. It’s when love goes too far and becomes overwhelming.

And if we aren’t careful, we can actually resent love. I noticed the thinner I made myself for others, the more I disliked helping others. The more I loved excessively, the more I disliked loving.

That’s dangerous. Especially since loving one another is important.

A friend of mine, Dominique (a great leader at Follow for Bible Study Ministry), told me if I’m overwhelmed, stop being over committed. And to be honest, that was the best advice I’ve received in a long time.

It made perfect sense: don’t stop loving, just stop taking on more than you can bear.

My heart goes out to all who are hurt and need aid but my friends, realistically, we can’t help every one out there. We have to do what we can, when we can, and pray that God sends help for the rest. Don’t be like me, left with only bones and forced to rebuild yourself. 

By taking on fewer tasks to help others, we’ll be more efficient. Life becomes a lot easier when we do not overfill our plates. In Dominique’s words, “we complicate things when we over commit.”

So whether it be helping a neighbor cut the grass, taking a grandparent to the store, helping the homeless, feeding a child, or being a listening ear—do it in moderation. 

Learn to love without destroying yourself.

*Author’s Note: Thank you, Dominique for teaching me this small, but big lesson. I’ve learned from it and now, I can share it with others. God bless you.

2 Responses

  1. Amanda Beth

    I needed this today. Thanks so much! I get so many requests that it's overwhelming. Lately, I've been feeling that warning sign going off in my heart, as I'm losing compassion. I am making some changes right now and spending more time with God to refill me with His love.

    I always hated saying no, but I am learning I have to. The hardest part is when you tell someone no and they continue asking you anyway. That drives me crazy. Ministers from other countries do that all the time to me. Then I feel bad when I have to unfriend them.

    The best thing we can do is follow the Holy Spirit and only meet the needs He is leading us to meet, not every need that is presented to us. Thanks again for the message. You are a blessing:)

  2. Ashley Ormon

    Hi Amanda. You're welcome. I understand you 100%! It becomes very overwhelming when everyone is demanding so much of you. It is difficult saying "no", but that's an answer we have to give too sometimes.

    I agree that it does become exhausting when you're constantly being asked the same question, but we can only do so much in one day.

    Within the upcoming weeks, I'm going to "dig" into the Word also. There's great peace there. And like you said, we need to meet the needs God tells us to meet, not every one we encounter. Thank you for reading! Much favor to you!

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