There are several seasons within the year when it seems as if there is an abundance of marriages and engagements happening. From television shows to social media, everyone seems to be getting engaged or married. Everyone except for me.
As a single woman, I used to struggle with being genuinely happy for those who were getting engaged or married. I thought I was happy for them, but deep down inside I wondered, when it was going to be MY time? Why were they getting engaged before me? When will I be able to experience that special moment and announce to the world: “I am getting married?” If I may continue being transparent with you, these questions eventually made me bitter and envious of others. I mean, most of the couples weren’t saved. I couldn’t wrap my mind around why they kept getting what I desired most. I secretly struggled with this for a long period of time. I remember praying to God and telling him how unfair it was that I was still waiting (impatiently) for my man.
You know, God really does have a sense of humor.
He reminded me of Galatians 5:16-21 which outlines the works of the flesh, one of which is envy. This whole time I wondered why I was still single and it really didn’t dawn on me that I was very envious of others. I began to think about why I wanted a man and a ring so badly. The answer to my question was my selfish desires! I praise God that he shinned a light on my issue. Instantly, I had to repent of my wicked ways. I neglected to see the beauty in others happiness because it was over-shadowed by my envy and bitterness.
During this time of being free from envy, I choose to meditate on Psalm 51. Here David prayed a prayer of repentance to God. He confesses of all of his sins and asks God to create in him a clean heart. What a mighty and freeing prayer that is!!
Since then, every day I wake up and chose to rejoice and be happy for others. Now with time, I have realized my heart had changed.
As Christians, it is very important for us to get our emotions and thoughts aligned properly! Focusing too much on what’s wrong often results to us losing sight of God. We have to be honest with ourselves and most importantly, with God. If you’re single and you desire to be married, but feel you’re struggling with envy, take some time now to go before the Lord. Tell him how you feel. Be honest!
Ecclesiastes 3 outlines that there is a time for everything under the sun. Instead of being mad, REJOICE because your time will come soon. And in the meantime, focus on doing what God has called you to do now.
One day you will have the experience of saying, “I am getting married” and it will be a beautiful. But until then, rejoice with others and be genuinely happy for them.